Tateyama Ayano ☀ Scarlet Sunrise (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heroicsacrifeyes) wrote2014-12-25 11:47 am
heroicsacrifeyes) wrote2014-12-25 11:47 am
Entry tags:
Memories 9-12, Skill 4
Memory 9, Insisting on cooking for her family after mom dies even though she can't cook
Form: Silk tea bags (1/???)
What it is:
"What’s dinner going to be like today~? I hope it’s nothing else unthinkable again."
"It should be fine. Though it did smell a bit weird."
"R-really…? Aah, though I don’t have a right to complain, seeing as I can’t even cook. Since Kido’s so good at making food, it’d be nice if Kido cooked sometimes~ Ah, just joking…"
"I’m not against it or anything, but it’s no use. Onee-chan said she wanted to make it herself, and wouldn’t even listen to me."
As we chatted, we headed over to the dinner table where our family was waiting.
…And as expected, the dinner had a slightly questionable taste, but that day was also the first time in a long while I managed to laugh together with my family members.
Pretty simple memory, Ayano has all these ideas in her head about being THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE and taking care of her family, Tsubomi is MUCH better at cooking than her but she insists on doing it all herself and helping everyone properly. The dinner that night isn't that great, but for the first time since mom died the kids all laughed together.
What she learned:
- ...Okay maybe her cooking was that bad BUT SHE'S BETTER NOW RIGHT???
- Took the mom death memory first so no reveal there
Memory 10, Kisaragi needs a friend
Form: Magnifying glass (1/3)
What it is:
“No, um…I wasn’t feeling sick.”
“I see. Then can you explain ‘that’ from just now?”
“I was kinda t-thinking…about something, and uh how do I put it…”
If I change classes, the teacher in charge also changes. The teacher that was in charge of our class from today on was a pretty teacher who had a short hair that suited her well. The voice that gave the command was cool and strict, and she gave off a feeling that really made her seem like a grown-up, mature woman; I thought she was a wonderful person. Rather than saying she was cute, I’d say that she was beautiful. She was the type of teacher that fit that term much more. But when she was angry, she was also extremely scary. Currently, I was the only one in my class learning of and experiencing this hot new fact about my teacher.
“I’d very much like to hear about your troubles. If it’s something so bad it would cause you to freeze during the opening ceremony — and during the principal’s greeting too — as your teacher, I have to ask.” As she said this, the teacher rigidly looked me in the eye. At that instant, a shiver ran down my spine so hard I almost thought it would make a sound. In order to fool her, I tried my best to pull my lips into a smile but I was trembling so much I couldn’t do it well.
“Uhhhh, i-it’s not really that big of a deal. It just somehow happened…” In a serious situation like this, there was no way I could explain what I had been thinking about earlier today. “I was thinking about my special attack!” I wonder what kind of reactions I’ll get the day I say these words…
“It’s not a big deal..? So you zoned out because of something that’s not important at all?” As the teacher asked this, her eyes suddenly seemed to be filled even more obviously with murderous intent. I couldn’t say that she was really angry, but she was definitely ready to be. Having noticed that, my body began to tremble even more in fear. Aaah, I’d said something wrong without thinking again. It would’ve been better if I had just stopped with the boring excuses and honestly told her that I zoned out. Trying to fool her in such a unconvincing way, it was unfair. It wasn’t cool at all. Speaking of which, my dad once said to me, “If you think you’ve done something bad, don’t make anything up, just honestly apologise. If you do that, your soul will become more pure.” Yep, that’s right. It really was bad to be dishonest. I had to apologise properly, then get lectured properly.
…and then, I was going to make sure I didn’t cry. Crying wasn’t cool either.
“Oi, how about you actually say something.” Watching me, Teacher quietly said this. Though her voice was cool, her eyes were definitely still trying to correct my mistake.
“Y-yes, I’m sorry. T-to be honest…” I had to honestly explain that I was caught up in my thoughts. “…I-I was thinking about how I hadn’t become the second year I had thought I would be…I had been thinking that even just now, everyone in the class seemed to be so much more mature…”
“I see — and then?” Teacher, her expression still exactly the same, continued to look me straight in the eye. I couldn’t look away from those eyes. Yes, I was a “frog that was being glared at by a snake.” I felt exactly like that at that moment. Though I hadn’t planned on going in circles, stared down by my teacher, my head began to lose focus again.
“Um, uh, and then…I thought about how e-everyone got to be so mature…” Having somehow come this far with my explanations, everything in my mind became pure white. “
And then?” Not bothered by that at all, the teacher firmly continued to urge me on. Inside the shirt of my uniform, I began to sweat. What do I do, I’m so nervous the right words won’t come out.
“I-I’m sorry. Um, I can’t really explain it properly from here on…I-I’m not trying to avoid the topic or anything though! Uh, I just don’t know what to say now…” Aah, I was pathetic. Why did I have to become to jumpy when I talked to someone else. However, the teacher that seemed like she was still angry, seemed to suddenly blow off all her steam. Continuing on, just I had thought I had heard her chuckle, Teacher said, “Ah, sorry, sorry” and waved her hand, relaxed. I wondered what had happened to her all of a sudden. Just now, had I said something interesting? Or was it that — was the way I spoke weird? I couldn’t figure it out no matter how i thought about it, so I gave out an “ehehe…” and smiled nervously. After laughing for a bit, the teacher suddenly reached for the hot coffee she had placed on the desk and placed the cup to her mouth. Even at such a small detail, I thought to myself, “She really is an adult huh~”, and at this, I realised once again that I truly was a child.
“No no, sorry for forcing you to speak. Since you said it wasn’t a big deal, I had wondered what you were going to say, but what you said is really…” As she said that, the teacher seemed to be extremely happy for some reason. Even though she had been so stern just a while ago, what in the world had happened? What I had said was kind of…—no, what I had said was unmistakably foolish. But Teacher, for some reason, didn’t think this at all.
“Sensei, um why….why do you seem so pleased? I had thought you’d been angrier, but…” Once again, I had let my thoughts slip out of my mouth. The teacher put her cup of coffee back on the desk, straightened her back, and tried to collect herself. “
Indeed, being caught up in your thoughts and not being able to do what you were supposed to do is not something that you can be praised for.”
“Uu, t-that’s true. I’m sorry…” As I shrunk in my seat, she flashed me a smile again.
“That’s why I was a bit harsh on you, you see. Well, it seems that you really are reflecting on what you did, so I won’t say anymore on this matter.”
“Yes…”
“That’s why I don’t want you to forget.” The teacher looked at me in the eyes once again. “…the job all of you should be prioritising is the job of thinking about yourself, your future.To help you guys with that, teachers are here. The way you’re living right now is correct.” The look in the teacher’s eyes was completely different to what it had been like. Her eyes were like a mother’s, warm and gentle. “That’s why you should rest assured and think about these things. Imagine a ton of things, worry over a ton of things. Don’t rush, you’ll become an adult in due time, so it’s okay.” After saying this, the teacher smiled again, and added on, “Maybe that was a bit too complicated for you.”
Somehow embarrassed, I replied with, “A little bit” and lowered my head. And so, as if our conversation had just been waiting to take a break, the telephone on the teacher’s desk began to ring.
“Oh, sorry. Can you wait a bit?”
“Eh—y-yes.” At my reply, the teacher picked up the receiver, and pressed the answer button. I figured it would be impolite to keep looking at her, so I distanced myself a little from the desk, and dropped my gaze to the ground. But still, I could still hear Teacher’s voice and from what she was saying, I could tell that she was talking to the school nurse. Things like “No, it’s okay” and “Are they feeling better yet?” were said. “Feeling better”…which means they were discussing a student with a cold or something. Ah, now that I thought about it, maybe it was the student from that empty seat back then. “…I understand. Well, let the student know that I hope they get well soon. Bye.” Having ended her conversation, the teacher put the receiver back in its place and sighed quietly.
“Sorry for making you wait.”
“No, it’s fine. Um, was the conversation just now about the student who was absent today…?”
The teacher picked up her coffee cup again, and repositioned herself in her chair so that she was facing me like she had been. “That’s right. The school had been contacted this morning too, but the student’s mother gave us another call to apologise. ‘Sorry for the trouble,’ she said.”
“I see, so that’s what happened. Feeling sick on the first day of school…I kinda feel bad for them.” At my words, the teacher smiled bitterly.
“But you never know…even if they say they’re feeling unwell, it could just be an excuse so they can have a day off.”
“An excuse…you mean that it’s all a lie?”
Uneasily, the teacher replied, “Well, I can’t deny that.” Lying to have a day off; that basically meant that they were skipping school. I understood that going back to school after a break definitely wasn’t something to look forward to, but skipping school without even trying hide it felt strange to me. “That’s right. This student, do you know who they are? They’re called Kisaragi…”
“Kisaragi…ah! I know, Kisaragi-san, right? We were in different classes during our first year though, so I’m not sure what kind of person they are…” That’s right, the student in the same year as me, Kisaragi-san. During my first year, when I had first noticed the name “Kisaragi” written on one of the spaces on the shoe rack, I had stopped for quite a while, staring at it. After all, it’s quite a rare surname, and the kanji in it were cool. It seemed like the sort of name a manga protagonist would have; I was really envious. However, I had never met this Kisaragi-san, and I didn’t even know their first name.
“I see. But, how do I say this, Kisaragi is…someone that’s like the complete opposite of you. Somehow, even compared to the rest of your year, they’re different…and it’s like no matter what it is that they’re asked, they’ll always give a blunt, straightforward reply…” Having said this much, the teacher pinched her nose bridge with a tired expression. “Blunt..is it.” “Yeah, if we speak in terms of their studies, it’ll be easier to understand. Last year, out of all the tests given throughout the entire school year, this kid was at the top; and with full marks for everything.”
“F-full marks for everything?!” For the teacher to be able say something so that even someone like me could easily understand it, it was amazing. For last year’s exams, I would’ve had to combine the marks from all 5 subjects just to reach 100 points, but for someone to get full marks in everything… “Kisaragi-san is r-really amazing, huh.”
Somehow a little sadly, the teacher said, “That kid is. Even among the teachers, there are some who openly talk about Kisaragi. It’s just that…I don’t think that being able to do everything without a single mistake is always a good thing.”
“Humans are all different, and this means we can always hurt each other. At a glance, this may be thought of as a cause of unnecessary pain, but in the end, only those who have made mistakes are able to forgive the mistakes of others.”
“Forgive mistakes…”
“Right. That’s why mistakes, as long as you can live with them, are extremely important things…however, that kid is so perfect, it’s difficult for them to recognise and respect those who are flawed. Anyone around Kisaragi will be shut out as long as they’re not as smart as they are. They use ‘I don’t want to be involved with stupid people!’ as a convenient excuse.” I see. Though Teacher’s words were a bit complicated for me, I understood the meaning of her words and the fact that her troubles definitely were not good things. …“I don’t want to be involved with stupid people,” was it? Someone like me was just going to be ignored even if I tried to talk to them, without a doubt. …huh? But if Kisaragi-san was the top of the whole school year, that meant there was probably no one smarter than them, right? And the same Kisaragi-san refused to be involved with stupid people. Which meant…
“E-excuse me, Sensei. Does Kisaragi-san have friends or anything?”
“…as far as I know, they don’t. Kisaragi in person said that they didn’t need things like friends. Moreover, I’ve never even seen them so much as talk to another student.” So I was right. “At the end of the school year, Kisaragi even said this to me: ‘There’s no meaning, being with these idiots all time.’ I think that kid’s absent today too because they see no meaning in school or friendship.” As the teacher said this, she looked extremely pained. Seeing her like this, somehow I became sad too. Saying “I don’t need things like friends” — I wonder what Kisaragi-san planned on doing, saying things like that. Teacher said that the job we had to prioritise was the “job of thinking,” but even Kisaragi-san, the genius, surely had to have at least one or two troubles. They had to have times when they felt like they were being crushed by pain. Because no matter how smart they were, they were still human, after all. But in times like those, was Kisaragi-san really okay all alone? It was possible that because they were always so much smarter than those around them, they were uncomfortable about revealing all his insecurities. Was that why Kisaragi-san said they didn’t need friends, and became isolated?
Kisaragi-san, who only ever received full marks on tests…
Kisaragi-san who refused to go to school…
Kisaragi-san who didn’t need friends…
…but that’s definitely a little too lonely and painful, you know. Kisaragi-san.
“…Sensei, is it okay if I ask you for advice on something?”
Teacher’s expression completely changed again. “Advice? Of course, I don’t mind; what is it?”
“This might be impossible, but…would you mind putting my seat next to Kisaragi-san’s seat?” I asked knowing it was impossible. At that, the teacher seemed surprised — the hand that had been reaching for her coffee cup abruptly stopped, and she froze. Somewhere in my heart, I believed it wasn’t impossible. Even I didn’t quite understand why I had asked something like that. Right. By the time I had noticed, my mind had already been filled with thoughts about Kisaragi-san. From what I had heard, Kisaragi-san was hard to understand, mysterious, and this was extremely fascinating to me. From the fact that they were smart and said they didn’t need any friends, they sounded like the cool protagonist from a manga. I wanted to meet and talk to Kisaragi-san. I wanted to know what kind of things they were thinking about. My heart was filled to the brim with this sort of curiosity.
“…I appreciate your feelings, but that kid really is hard to change. You might experience some unpleasant things.” It seemed that the teacher actually understood the meaning to my words. She, who was able to fully understand but still be gentle, was truly an adult.
“That’s…true. They might not even be willing to talk to me. But…” But, it wasn’t okay. Once I, who was a child, thought of something, resisting it was honestly something I couldn’t do. “…I’m curious. About Kisaragi-san. That’s why, please.”
Looking closely, it had looked as if I wasn’t looking but at the same time was looking at her, but right now was different; this time I was looking straight into Teacher’s eyes. For an instant, the teacher had a dazed expression, but that immediately softened into a smile. “I see. Well, it’s something I should be thankful for. If you talk to Kisaragi, that kid might change. Right, I’ll try putting your seats together.”
“R-really?!” Teacher’s immediate consent caused my curiosity to grow even more. What kind of person was Kisaragi-san, I wondered. I had never met them before, but from their name, I was sure she was pretty, and maybe an intense person. Her hair was probably really smooth and beautiful, and she probably had the demeanour of a ‘cool beauty,’ something like that. Aah, I really want to meet her soon.
“Ah, before I forget — it’s been bothering me for a while, but can I ask you something?”
“Something that’s been bothering you? Yes, what is it?”
“You’ve been saying Kisaragi‘-san’ for a while now but…Kisaragi’s male, you know?”
What she learned:
- She's in trouble for zoning out in the school entrance ceremony
- Her teacher is really cool and intimidating and admirable
- ...She's a total dork who was fantasising about special attacks and powerful heroic moves and that's why she was zoned out, but she can't say that, that's embarrassing!!
- Being dishonest is bad, you have to own up when you do something wrong and get lectured properly because daddy said so! Ayano is so very much a daddy's girl
- One of the student's missed the ceremony because they might be sick, but also could have been skipping? BUT WHO COULD SKIP SCHOOL HOW TERRIBLE!
- This Kisaragi person is a genius and they seem so cool but they have no friends, I WILL BE THEIR FRIEND!!
- She thought Kisaragi was a girl and started fantasising about how cool and beautiful she would be but no it's Shintaro
- LOTS OF THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW PRETTY GIRLS ARE AND HOW MUCH SHE LIKES THEM IN HERE hmmmmm make of that what you will
Memory 11, The adult world is irrationally crooked
Form: A present (1/2)
What it is: OKAY SO THIS ONE IS COMPLICATED BECAUSE THE FULL MEMORY SPANS MULTIPLE MEDIUMS BUT HERE LEMME TRY. Also take the anime clips with a grain of salt because they are anime and follow their own weird timeline and Ayano's from the novels. The information she learns is the same at least.
The spring breeze blows, and the now-adult world
Is irrationally bent, as if conspired to be
The thick and faded tears of loved ones
Go unnoticed by all, turning black
Things had gone crazy, but by the time I noticed,
I could not tell anyone
"No, no, I don't want it to be destroyed!"
There came a world where happiness ends
The last anime video is wrong because she doesn't ask Shuuya for help until much later, this memory ends on the despair of realising everyone she loves is going to die.
What she learned:
- Her mom is dead 8(
- Her mom and dad both died in the landslide but actually her dad came back from the heat haze daze
- Her parents always knew about the children's mysterious powers and were in fact investigating the phenomena to try and protect them when they died
- The daze was created by an immortal monster called Azami that just wanted a place to live happily with her non-immortal family but something went wrong and she left on her own
- OH NO THE SNAKE POSSESSING HER DAD IS THE ONE THAT CONVINCED AZAMI TO CREATE THE DAZE AND NOW HE'S BEING AN EVIL TRICKSTER TEMPTER TO HER DAD
- According to her dad's notes the snake is going to kill her siblings and her friends in order to create a monster to bring her mother back to life
- EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND HAPPINESS HAS DIED
Memory 12, Getting brushed off
Form: Ice wine (0/4)
What it is:
Under a blazing sun, on a hilly road,
We walked, blurry figures,
The summer heat was left in my eyes
"Don't mind me,"
"Just go off somewhere,"
And I brushed your hand away
"I won't go,"
You said to me,
And grabbed mine back
"You're so annoying!"
I walked a little bit ahead,
Without looking back
Form: Silk tea bags (1/???)
What it is:
"What’s dinner going to be like today~? I hope it’s nothing else unthinkable again."
"It should be fine. Though it did smell a bit weird."
"R-really…? Aah, though I don’t have a right to complain, seeing as I can’t even cook. Since Kido’s so good at making food, it’d be nice if Kido cooked sometimes~ Ah, just joking…"
"I’m not against it or anything, but it’s no use. Onee-chan said she wanted to make it herself, and wouldn’t even listen to me."
As we chatted, we headed over to the dinner table where our family was waiting.
…And as expected, the dinner had a slightly questionable taste, but that day was also the first time in a long while I managed to laugh together with my family members.
Pretty simple memory, Ayano has all these ideas in her head about being THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE and taking care of her family, Tsubomi is MUCH better at cooking than her but she insists on doing it all herself and helping everyone properly. The dinner that night isn't that great, but for the first time since mom died the kids all laughed together.
What she learned:
- ...Okay maybe her cooking was that bad BUT SHE'S BETTER NOW RIGHT???
- Took the mom death memory first so no reveal there
Memory 10, Kisaragi needs a friend
Form: Magnifying glass (1/3)
What it is:
“No, um…I wasn’t feeling sick.”
“I see. Then can you explain ‘that’ from just now?”
“I was kinda t-thinking…about something, and uh how do I put it…”
If I change classes, the teacher in charge also changes. The teacher that was in charge of our class from today on was a pretty teacher who had a short hair that suited her well. The voice that gave the command was cool and strict, and she gave off a feeling that really made her seem like a grown-up, mature woman; I thought she was a wonderful person. Rather than saying she was cute, I’d say that she was beautiful. She was the type of teacher that fit that term much more. But when she was angry, she was also extremely scary. Currently, I was the only one in my class learning of and experiencing this hot new fact about my teacher.
“I’d very much like to hear about your troubles. If it’s something so bad it would cause you to freeze during the opening ceremony — and during the principal’s greeting too — as your teacher, I have to ask.” As she said this, the teacher rigidly looked me in the eye. At that instant, a shiver ran down my spine so hard I almost thought it would make a sound. In order to fool her, I tried my best to pull my lips into a smile but I was trembling so much I couldn’t do it well.
“Uhhhh, i-it’s not really that big of a deal. It just somehow happened…” In a serious situation like this, there was no way I could explain what I had been thinking about earlier today. “I was thinking about my special attack!” I wonder what kind of reactions I’ll get the day I say these words…
“It’s not a big deal..? So you zoned out because of something that’s not important at all?” As the teacher asked this, her eyes suddenly seemed to be filled even more obviously with murderous intent. I couldn’t say that she was really angry, but she was definitely ready to be. Having noticed that, my body began to tremble even more in fear. Aaah, I’d said something wrong without thinking again. It would’ve been better if I had just stopped with the boring excuses and honestly told her that I zoned out. Trying to fool her in such a unconvincing way, it was unfair. It wasn’t cool at all. Speaking of which, my dad once said to me, “If you think you’ve done something bad, don’t make anything up, just honestly apologise. If you do that, your soul will become more pure.” Yep, that’s right. It really was bad to be dishonest. I had to apologise properly, then get lectured properly.
…and then, I was going to make sure I didn’t cry. Crying wasn’t cool either.
“Oi, how about you actually say something.” Watching me, Teacher quietly said this. Though her voice was cool, her eyes were definitely still trying to correct my mistake.
“Y-yes, I’m sorry. T-to be honest…” I had to honestly explain that I was caught up in my thoughts. “…I-I was thinking about how I hadn’t become the second year I had thought I would be…I had been thinking that even just now, everyone in the class seemed to be so much more mature…”
“I see — and then?” Teacher, her expression still exactly the same, continued to look me straight in the eye. I couldn’t look away from those eyes. Yes, I was a “frog that was being glared at by a snake.” I felt exactly like that at that moment. Though I hadn’t planned on going in circles, stared down by my teacher, my head began to lose focus again.
“Um, uh, and then…I thought about how e-everyone got to be so mature…” Having somehow come this far with my explanations, everything in my mind became pure white. “
And then?” Not bothered by that at all, the teacher firmly continued to urge me on. Inside the shirt of my uniform, I began to sweat. What do I do, I’m so nervous the right words won’t come out.
“I-I’m sorry. Um, I can’t really explain it properly from here on…I-I’m not trying to avoid the topic or anything though! Uh, I just don’t know what to say now…” Aah, I was pathetic. Why did I have to become to jumpy when I talked to someone else. However, the teacher that seemed like she was still angry, seemed to suddenly blow off all her steam. Continuing on, just I had thought I had heard her chuckle, Teacher said, “Ah, sorry, sorry” and waved her hand, relaxed. I wondered what had happened to her all of a sudden. Just now, had I said something interesting? Or was it that — was the way I spoke weird? I couldn’t figure it out no matter how i thought about it, so I gave out an “ehehe…” and smiled nervously. After laughing for a bit, the teacher suddenly reached for the hot coffee she had placed on the desk and placed the cup to her mouth. Even at such a small detail, I thought to myself, “She really is an adult huh~”, and at this, I realised once again that I truly was a child.
“No no, sorry for forcing you to speak. Since you said it wasn’t a big deal, I had wondered what you were going to say, but what you said is really…” As she said that, the teacher seemed to be extremely happy for some reason. Even though she had been so stern just a while ago, what in the world had happened? What I had said was kind of…—no, what I had said was unmistakably foolish. But Teacher, for some reason, didn’t think this at all.
“Sensei, um why….why do you seem so pleased? I had thought you’d been angrier, but…” Once again, I had let my thoughts slip out of my mouth. The teacher put her cup of coffee back on the desk, straightened her back, and tried to collect herself. “
Indeed, being caught up in your thoughts and not being able to do what you were supposed to do is not something that you can be praised for.”
“Uu, t-that’s true. I’m sorry…” As I shrunk in my seat, she flashed me a smile again.
“That’s why I was a bit harsh on you, you see. Well, it seems that you really are reflecting on what you did, so I won’t say anymore on this matter.”
“Yes…”
“That’s why I don’t want you to forget.” The teacher looked at me in the eyes once again. “…the job all of you should be prioritising is the job of thinking about yourself, your future.To help you guys with that, teachers are here. The way you’re living right now is correct.” The look in the teacher’s eyes was completely different to what it had been like. Her eyes were like a mother’s, warm and gentle. “That’s why you should rest assured and think about these things. Imagine a ton of things, worry over a ton of things. Don’t rush, you’ll become an adult in due time, so it’s okay.” After saying this, the teacher smiled again, and added on, “Maybe that was a bit too complicated for you.”
Somehow embarrassed, I replied with, “A little bit” and lowered my head. And so, as if our conversation had just been waiting to take a break, the telephone on the teacher’s desk began to ring.
“Oh, sorry. Can you wait a bit?”
“Eh—y-yes.” At my reply, the teacher picked up the receiver, and pressed the answer button. I figured it would be impolite to keep looking at her, so I distanced myself a little from the desk, and dropped my gaze to the ground. But still, I could still hear Teacher’s voice and from what she was saying, I could tell that she was talking to the school nurse. Things like “No, it’s okay” and “Are they feeling better yet?” were said. “Feeling better”…which means they were discussing a student with a cold or something. Ah, now that I thought about it, maybe it was the student from that empty seat back then. “…I understand. Well, let the student know that I hope they get well soon. Bye.” Having ended her conversation, the teacher put the receiver back in its place and sighed quietly.
“Sorry for making you wait.”
“No, it’s fine. Um, was the conversation just now about the student who was absent today…?”
The teacher picked up her coffee cup again, and repositioned herself in her chair so that she was facing me like she had been. “That’s right. The school had been contacted this morning too, but the student’s mother gave us another call to apologise. ‘Sorry for the trouble,’ she said.”
“I see, so that’s what happened. Feeling sick on the first day of school…I kinda feel bad for them.” At my words, the teacher smiled bitterly.
“But you never know…even if they say they’re feeling unwell, it could just be an excuse so they can have a day off.”
“An excuse…you mean that it’s all a lie?”
Uneasily, the teacher replied, “Well, I can’t deny that.” Lying to have a day off; that basically meant that they were skipping school. I understood that going back to school after a break definitely wasn’t something to look forward to, but skipping school without even trying hide it felt strange to me. “That’s right. This student, do you know who they are? They’re called Kisaragi…”
“Kisaragi…ah! I know, Kisaragi-san, right? We were in different classes during our first year though, so I’m not sure what kind of person they are…” That’s right, the student in the same year as me, Kisaragi-san. During my first year, when I had first noticed the name “Kisaragi” written on one of the spaces on the shoe rack, I had stopped for quite a while, staring at it. After all, it’s quite a rare surname, and the kanji in it were cool. It seemed like the sort of name a manga protagonist would have; I was really envious. However, I had never met this Kisaragi-san, and I didn’t even know their first name.
“I see. But, how do I say this, Kisaragi is…someone that’s like the complete opposite of you. Somehow, even compared to the rest of your year, they’re different…and it’s like no matter what it is that they’re asked, they’ll always give a blunt, straightforward reply…” Having said this much, the teacher pinched her nose bridge with a tired expression. “Blunt..is it.” “Yeah, if we speak in terms of their studies, it’ll be easier to understand. Last year, out of all the tests given throughout the entire school year, this kid was at the top; and with full marks for everything.”
“F-full marks for everything?!” For the teacher to be able say something so that even someone like me could easily understand it, it was amazing. For last year’s exams, I would’ve had to combine the marks from all 5 subjects just to reach 100 points, but for someone to get full marks in everything… “Kisaragi-san is r-really amazing, huh.”
Somehow a little sadly, the teacher said, “That kid is. Even among the teachers, there are some who openly talk about Kisaragi. It’s just that…I don’t think that being able to do everything without a single mistake is always a good thing.”
“Humans are all different, and this means we can always hurt each other. At a glance, this may be thought of as a cause of unnecessary pain, but in the end, only those who have made mistakes are able to forgive the mistakes of others.”
“Forgive mistakes…”
“Right. That’s why mistakes, as long as you can live with them, are extremely important things…however, that kid is so perfect, it’s difficult for them to recognise and respect those who are flawed. Anyone around Kisaragi will be shut out as long as they’re not as smart as they are. They use ‘I don’t want to be involved with stupid people!’ as a convenient excuse.” I see. Though Teacher’s words were a bit complicated for me, I understood the meaning of her words and the fact that her troubles definitely were not good things. …“I don’t want to be involved with stupid people,” was it? Someone like me was just going to be ignored even if I tried to talk to them, without a doubt. …huh? But if Kisaragi-san was the top of the whole school year, that meant there was probably no one smarter than them, right? And the same Kisaragi-san refused to be involved with stupid people. Which meant…
“E-excuse me, Sensei. Does Kisaragi-san have friends or anything?”
“…as far as I know, they don’t. Kisaragi in person said that they didn’t need things like friends. Moreover, I’ve never even seen them so much as talk to another student.” So I was right. “At the end of the school year, Kisaragi even said this to me: ‘There’s no meaning, being with these idiots all time.’ I think that kid’s absent today too because they see no meaning in school or friendship.” As the teacher said this, she looked extremely pained. Seeing her like this, somehow I became sad too. Saying “I don’t need things like friends” — I wonder what Kisaragi-san planned on doing, saying things like that. Teacher said that the job we had to prioritise was the “job of thinking,” but even Kisaragi-san, the genius, surely had to have at least one or two troubles. They had to have times when they felt like they were being crushed by pain. Because no matter how smart they were, they were still human, after all. But in times like those, was Kisaragi-san really okay all alone? It was possible that because they were always so much smarter than those around them, they were uncomfortable about revealing all his insecurities. Was that why Kisaragi-san said they didn’t need friends, and became isolated?
Kisaragi-san, who only ever received full marks on tests…
Kisaragi-san who refused to go to school…
Kisaragi-san who didn’t need friends…
…but that’s definitely a little too lonely and painful, you know. Kisaragi-san.
“…Sensei, is it okay if I ask you for advice on something?”
Teacher’s expression completely changed again. “Advice? Of course, I don’t mind; what is it?”
“This might be impossible, but…would you mind putting my seat next to Kisaragi-san’s seat?” I asked knowing it was impossible. At that, the teacher seemed surprised — the hand that had been reaching for her coffee cup abruptly stopped, and she froze. Somewhere in my heart, I believed it wasn’t impossible. Even I didn’t quite understand why I had asked something like that. Right. By the time I had noticed, my mind had already been filled with thoughts about Kisaragi-san. From what I had heard, Kisaragi-san was hard to understand, mysterious, and this was extremely fascinating to me. From the fact that they were smart and said they didn’t need any friends, they sounded like the cool protagonist from a manga. I wanted to meet and talk to Kisaragi-san. I wanted to know what kind of things they were thinking about. My heart was filled to the brim with this sort of curiosity.
“…I appreciate your feelings, but that kid really is hard to change. You might experience some unpleasant things.” It seemed that the teacher actually understood the meaning to my words. She, who was able to fully understand but still be gentle, was truly an adult.
“That’s…true. They might not even be willing to talk to me. But…” But, it wasn’t okay. Once I, who was a child, thought of something, resisting it was honestly something I couldn’t do. “…I’m curious. About Kisaragi-san. That’s why, please.”
Looking closely, it had looked as if I wasn’t looking but at the same time was looking at her, but right now was different; this time I was looking straight into Teacher’s eyes. For an instant, the teacher had a dazed expression, but that immediately softened into a smile. “I see. Well, it’s something I should be thankful for. If you talk to Kisaragi, that kid might change. Right, I’ll try putting your seats together.”
“R-really?!” Teacher’s immediate consent caused my curiosity to grow even more. What kind of person was Kisaragi-san, I wondered. I had never met them before, but from their name, I was sure she was pretty, and maybe an intense person. Her hair was probably really smooth and beautiful, and she probably had the demeanour of a ‘cool beauty,’ something like that. Aah, I really want to meet her soon.
“Ah, before I forget — it’s been bothering me for a while, but can I ask you something?”
“Something that’s been bothering you? Yes, what is it?”
“You’ve been saying Kisaragi‘-san’ for a while now but…Kisaragi’s male, you know?”
What she learned:
- She's in trouble for zoning out in the school entrance ceremony
- Her teacher is really cool and intimidating and admirable
- ...She's a total dork who was fantasising about special attacks and powerful heroic moves and that's why she was zoned out, but she can't say that, that's embarrassing!!
- Being dishonest is bad, you have to own up when you do something wrong and get lectured properly because daddy said so! Ayano is so very much a daddy's girl
- One of the student's missed the ceremony because they might be sick, but also could have been skipping? BUT WHO COULD SKIP SCHOOL HOW TERRIBLE!
- This Kisaragi person is a genius and they seem so cool but they have no friends, I WILL BE THEIR FRIEND!!
- She thought Kisaragi was a girl and started fantasising about how cool and beautiful she would be but no it's Shintaro
- LOTS OF THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW PRETTY GIRLS ARE AND HOW MUCH SHE LIKES THEM IN HERE hmmmmm make of that what you will
Memory 11, The adult world is irrationally crooked
Form: A present (1/2)
What it is: OKAY SO THIS ONE IS COMPLICATED BECAUSE THE FULL MEMORY SPANS MULTIPLE MEDIUMS BUT HERE LEMME TRY. Also take the anime clips with a grain of salt because they are anime and follow their own weird timeline and Ayano's from the novels. The information she learns is the same at least.
The spring breeze blows, and the now-adult world
Is irrationally bent, as if conspired to be
The thick and faded tears of loved ones
Go unnoticed by all, turning black
Things had gone crazy, but by the time I noticed,
I could not tell anyone
"No, no, I don't want it to be destroyed!"
There came a world where happiness ends
The last anime video is wrong because she doesn't ask Shuuya for help until much later, this memory ends on the despair of realising everyone she loves is going to die.
What she learned:
- Her mom is dead 8(
- Her mom and dad both died in the landslide but actually her dad came back from the heat haze daze
- Her parents always knew about the children's mysterious powers and were in fact investigating the phenomena to try and protect them when they died
- The daze was created by an immortal monster called Azami that just wanted a place to live happily with her non-immortal family but something went wrong and she left on her own
- OH NO THE SNAKE POSSESSING HER DAD IS THE ONE THAT CONVINCED AZAMI TO CREATE THE DAZE AND NOW HE'S BEING AN EVIL TRICKSTER TEMPTER TO HER DAD
- According to her dad's notes the snake is going to kill her siblings and her friends in order to create a monster to bring her mother back to life
- EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND HAPPINESS HAS DIED
Memory 12, Getting brushed off
Form: Ice wine (0/4)
What it is:
Under a blazing sun, on a hilly road,
We walked, blurry figures,
The summer heat was left in my eyes
"Don't mind me,"
"Just go off somewhere,"
And I brushed your hand away
"I won't go,"
You said to me,
And grabbed mine back
"You're so annoying!"
I walked a little bit ahead,
Without looking back
What she learned:
- This is after she's made friends properly with Shintaro, she has the confidence to insist upon friendship and supporting him that she didn't have previously, but there are still times when he rejects her
- He finds her annoying and hates her sometimes and normally she can put up with his attitude, but this is a moment right before she dies where she needs him, Ayano needs Shintaro and she wants him to need her, he's the one person who won't be affected by her father's plan, the one person who won't be killed no matter what and also the one person who wouldn't be saved by anything she planned
- She only has little hints and clues about her suicidal plan so far, but this is the moment where she felt, "Ah, Shintaro really doesn't need me around at all"
Skill 4, Less terrible cooking
Form: A grape
What it is: Ayano can actually cook now!
- This is after she's made friends properly with Shintaro, she has the confidence to insist upon friendship and supporting him that she didn't have previously, but there are still times when he rejects her
- He finds her annoying and hates her sometimes and normally she can put up with his attitude, but this is a moment right before she dies where she needs him, Ayano needs Shintaro and she wants him to need her, he's the one person who won't be affected by her father's plan, the one person who won't be killed no matter what and also the one person who wouldn't be saved by anything she planned
- She only has little hints and clues about her suicidal plan so far, but this is the moment where she felt, "Ah, Shintaro really doesn't need me around at all"
Skill 4, Less terrible cooking
Form: A grape
What it is: Ayano can actually cook now!